WELCOME HEART: Living a Legacy Life

Ep 256 Lonely in Church? The Parking Lot Blues with Sue Donaldson

One Sunday after church, I stood by my car before getting in and looked around me. Young parents busy getting their tired kids buckled in didn’t give me a second thought; their minds on home and lunch and naps, all in short order. As cars and vans drove away, hands waved and I heard voices ring out, “So long!” and “Have a great rest of your day!
Single in my 20’s, in a new career, a new town and a new church, I felt okay, mostly. Life was full and purposeful, but lonely on occasion. I wondered why families didn’t ask me over for Sunday dinner.
The Bible says God sets the lonely in families. (Psalm 68:6) I was lonely. I needed to be set somewhere.
I got tired of waiting. Listen to what I did and what you can do, too, if you are singng the Parking Lot Blues.
PS
Please feel free to send my your stories of feeling lonely in a crowd. I'd love to share it on the podcast or in the newsletter. It can remain anonymous.   Email me: sue@welcomeheart.com 
Some gems from the parking lot blues:
Mom’s hospitality radar, in good working order on most days, placed itself on high alert each Sunday morning.
I needed family so I gathered some folks. Sometimes you just have to make it happen and not wait for someone else to pick up the phone or send a text.
Loneliness is the feeling that no one is thinking about you, much less cares about you and what you’re going through.
We feel shame with loneliness and we know where shame comes from. Shame comes from the pit and God’s children are not pit people.
When these ladies met with me it was like Jesus looking through the window of my Toyota Camry to say, “Hey Sue, I see you and I’m coming over and we’re going to make some changes where changes need making.”
If you are feeling lonely at times, you are not alone. Make that call. I’ll give you my recipe for apple crisp. It’s a killer—for loneliness.
 
Mom and Aunt Joy at Sunday dinner (not lunch, not supper.)
 
Trishie’s Best-Ever Apple Crisp
 
In a 7 1/2 x 11 glass casserole, mix together the following:
(Trish says: “Mix in the baking pan and save washing a dish.” I wholeheartedly agree.)
5 large apples, peeled and sliced
1 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
1 t to 1 T lemon juice, depending on tartness of the apples
1 cup water
 
Topping
In a medium bowl combine:
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup flour
Cut in until crumbly:
1/2 cup firm butter (I use pastry cutter or box grater)
 
Spread topping over the apples. Bake at 350 degrees for an hour. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream. Comfort food, simple and delicious.
A welcome home is a fragrant home.

Ep 255 The Way of Becoming with Kerry Hasenbalg

God told Kerry Hasenbalg over twenty years ago that she was to write this book, The Way of Becoming. She wasn't convinced. She asked God to maybe ask someone else instead. She made bookmarks instead.
Happy to report, she finished her book and it released in April, just in time for the National Day of Prayer in which an entire chapter, Chapter 7, was picked to bless our nation and a free download of that excerpt is still available on her website: https://kerry hasenbalg.com/book
A leader in Soul Care and a spiritual director, Kerry Hasenbalg, is a wife and mother of four and founder of The Becoming Foundation and resides in Pennsylvannia. You will be blessed and challenged as you hear our conversation about how to become who God has designed us to become no matter what challenges we face. Thank you, Kerry, for your honest reflections and teachings. We will all be hanging clotheslines very soon!
 
Some gems from our conversation:
God is interested in our inner world and we need to bring our stress and anxieties to him and his care.
We land in the valley and progress out of towards God as we apply certain faith practices in our lives, and then land in the valley again and God keeps moving us forward.
The Lord brings people into our lives for us to help dispel any of their darkness with the truth and beauty of His Spirit.
When we endure trials and pain, it's important that we name the broken things in our lives as we hand them over to the Healer.
To ask God for specifics gives us a deeper awareness of his great love for us.
I wanted to make sure to teach our kids first what God was teaching me before teaching anyone outside our home.
Every day is an exercise in trusting God enough to let Him work out His plan as we walk by faith. 
My legacy is to help our kids know that they can access the power of Jesus right now in their lives through whatever challenges they endure. 
I wrote my book based on Scripture and included my story so that the reader could begin seeing God in their own story. 

Ep 254 Mentoring and a Legacy of Family with Nikki Daulphin

Nikki Daulphin, wife and mother of 6, joins us today to talk about transformation at the table and in the Word. As a successful realtor, she views her work as a ministry but she knows that family comes first and she and her husband, Steve, have worked hard to help their kids lean into the Lord and share their tables with others now as young adults. 
Hear how they do their own special weekly "Sabbath Meals" and how when Nikki met her mentor, Debbi, it made all the difference in how she lived her life and then, raised her family. You will be refreshed and inspired. 
Some gems from our conversation:
Although I was raised in a tumultuous home, I needed to take responsibility for myself and allow God to do His transformative work in my life.
While birthing 5 kids in 7 years was often chaos, I learned to seek God as the air I breathed and ask myself, “Can I feed myself God’s Word while not always doing a ‘perfect Bible study?’”
The more I leaned into the role of mothering and learning the role of the wife, the better I was able to do both with joy and grace.
When I care for others in the workplace as Jesus cares for them, I find opportunties outside of work where I can minister His love and truth.
I have no regrets in laying down any expectations of my own work and career while investing in growing my family (even while Steve worked on getting his Phd over a 7 year period.)
My legacy is to send out our children in the love of the Lord; they they would surpass us in how we loved and served Him.
I want to care for people in a way that leaves a lasting impression so that they ask 'why is she this way?'
We taught our kids to "turn a profit" on what they've been given, all for God's glory. 
I was hungry for the safety and stability that my friend Debbi's family offered me.
 

Ep 253 Stretcher-Bearing Friends We Can Be Weak With Sue Donaldson

I love the T-shirt that reads: “WWMD?”  But when in crisis, I’d much rather talk to my best friend or my sister—older or younger—than Martha Stewart, or even one of her staff members.
Steve Janney said, “We all need a friend we can be weak with.” He’s right. Some of need more than one.
In the Bible there’s a great little story about a man who had four such friends. He wanted to see Jesus but couldn’t get close to Him because of the crowds and mainly because he lived his life on a stretcher.
 “When Jesus returned to Capernaum several days later, the news spread quickly that he was back home.  Soon the house where he was staying was so packed with visitors that there was no more room, even outside the door.” Mark 2:1,2
Enter 4 friends. Actually, they could have been strangers. The Bible doesn’t include their names. What we do know it that they had big muscles and even bigger hearts.
Now what was so important that they had to ruin someone’s roof? Why did he need to get to Jesus? We assume it was so he could be healed. Something they were all hoping for.
But Jesus had so much more in mind for him and for us, as well. We pray—“Lord, I need a new job, a new refrigerator, a new body!”
And He says, “Ah, but I have so much more in mind for you!” And He does. Jesus came to save us and we all need saving. We’re all a little lost until we put our trust in Him.
These four friends brought their friend to the One who could actually do the work. Jesus did the real work. They didn’t. He did. They couldn’t really help the man, but they knew where to take him to get help.
I am convinced that at any given time we could be either be lifting someone else’s stretcher or we are on the stretcher, being lifted by someone else. We will all get a turn at each, perhaps simultaneously. All the lifting is to take us to Jesus – we either need to be brought to him or we need to bring someone to him. That’s why we get up in the morning and sleep peacefully at night.
Some gems to remember:
When feeling weak, it reminds us that we need each other.
It should be of no surprise: we don’t heal people. We don’t do the work of salvation. We just be a friend to one another and bring people to the only one who can truly put broken hearts back together and heal our deepest hurts.
We all need a friend we can be weak with. Some of need more than one.
How can we banish loneliness in ourselves or for others? We find our people. We call our people and we look out for the one who needs a hand up to Jesus.
Meeting with friends doesn't happen unless you put it on the calendar.
If you start this week meeting with your stretcher-bearers you can say in 14 years, "We've been meeting together now for 14 years." 
 

Ep 252 You're Not Too Late with Rebecca George

I think a lot of folks want to know that they are not too late—they don’t even know if what they are waiting for is the best thing—they just know they are still waiting. Join author, speaker, podcaster, Rebecca George and me as we talk about my not so favorite topic: waiting. And what we learn in the wait and how to wait like a good child of God. Rebecca's second book, You’re Not Too Late: Trusting God’s Timing in a Hurry-up World just released and she will be giving away a copy all this week.
Maybe the next time we find ourselves waiting again, we can look down deep into ourselves and see who God wants us to become in the wait.
Some gems from our conversation:
I don't want to focus on what God has for me more than focusing on God, Himself—His love, mercy and grace.
God grants us unique life experiences so that we know Him better and share Him with our world.
Despair can be a gift when I use that pain and uncertainty to press in closer to God. 
True joy comes from appreciating the here and now. 
It's hardest for me to surrender when I've elevated my desires to a place of prominence that is meant for God alone.
Knowing there is so much more that we don't know can give us peace, even joy, in the waiting periods of life.
When we allow our painful circumstances to define the character of God we get into trouble.
Our hearts love certainty and that love can become an idol.  
 

Ep 251 Rebuilding Your Life After a Gray Divorce with Pat Fenner

Divorce hit me to the core, and it totally broke me. The good news is that I’m still alive. And because of that, I know my story isn’t over.
Pat Fenner
So glad to know Pat Fenner and you will be too after listening to our conversation today. You will hear how someone who thought they were "married for life" got through the pain and brokenness and began to flourish again. Pat provides simple (not always easy) baby steps to get you started again in a new life, single again, and finding new opportunities for self-discovery as well as deepening your relationship with God. 
Get your book today and share it with a friend who may need to hear real-life experience of a "gray divorce" - defined and what to do next. We are hosting a giveaway of:
Rebuilding Your Life After a Gray Divorce – A Path to healing, Significance, and Joy
Leave a comment on social media or email me at sue@welcomeheart.com to be entered. And you may want to buy one for your church, your pastor or your financial advisor!
 
 

Ep 250 Mom (and Kids') Hospitality with Pam Fields

Need some fun and community in your life AND you still have kids at home? Listen to my great conversation today with Pam Fields, mom of 9 and host of The Mom Next Door Podcast.
We both share ideas for getting together with our kids and other moms, all for Heaven's sake.  Pam's hosted Boxcar Days, Game Nights for teens and gotten some much needed home-help with her Pizza Project Days where she's enlisted other moms to help her get some project completed while developing friendships and trading giftings. 
Pam and I both know that we need community and fellowship at any age or stage. And that the more we invite people to be a part of our lives, the better we'll be and the greater memories we will be creating for our families. 
Some gems from our conversation:
Hospitality and entertainig are two different things.
Hospitality says, "Welcome to my world and I want to be part of your lives."
When we host gatherings, any kind—the more we model hospitality for our kids.
When we host events that include our kids, it reminds them that we want them as an integral part of our lives—it's a way of showing our love for them. 
God uses simple hosting times to encourage each other in our messy and complicated lives. 
If someone is in our physical space, not just online, we have the opportunity to help each other in an organic and natural way.
Planning a simple gathering takes the overwhelm out of a mom's busy life.
Pam Fields offers support to women through prayer, community, and resources for motherhood. She's always had a heart for encouraging moms in their walk with the Lord and in their mothering journey.
Though life is always busy for this homeschool mom, she's ready to learn and try new things such as blogging at TendingFields.net and sharing testimonies on her podcast, The Mom Next Door: Stories of Faith.
When Pam has some free time, you can find her at coffee with friends or planning her next family gathering at her home in Tennessee.
invites you to join her free Facebook group at Tending Fields Community.
Follow Pam at tendingfields.net and hear her Podcast The Mom Next Door: Stories of Faith on your favorite podcast channel.
 
For some good summer kid fun check here.

Ep 249 Living the Grace-filled Life with Jennifer Sakata

Do you struggle with perfectionism or being really busy—just to prove yourself to someone even if that someone is God? Jennifer Sakata is my guest today and she's got some great things to say about busyness, rest, childhood hurt, surrender and grace—because grace covers it all. 
Jennifer, founder of the Living the Grace Life Podcast, speaker, writer, wife and mother of two boys (and two in heaven) is learning all things grace and you will be blessed with how and what she's continuing to learn since we all know we are in process! (That's grace!)
Jennifer helps busy and distracted women overcome the overwhelm of doing more; so they can receive God’s grace to live God’s grace. Her favorite moments as a workshop and retreat leader are those thin-veiled glimpses when someone recognizes Gods grace rewriting their story.
Some gems from our conversation today:
The three P's of perfectionism, performance and productivity ran my life until I realized I needed to embrace the grace of salvation for my everyday life.
When I feel ill-equipped to do the next thing and run to God, that's when I see incredible things take place and that's all grace. 
Busyness with myself at the center is not how God created me to live.
There's a big difference between being busy with a purpose to serve and glorify God and being busy to prove my worth or solidify my identity.
Psalm 139 reminded me of my worth before God long before I did anything worthy.
We need rest to reconnect with God, His love and His true purposes for our daily lives. 
Jesus became my safe place as a child when I didn't feel protected in my home in my home of origin.
 
 
Jennifer's free resource can be found HERE: Living the Grace Life: One Prayer at a Time 
As well as: 10 Ways to Add More Grace to Your Life
Website: https://jennifersakata.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennifersakata/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenniferSakata.Author/
Podcast: Living the Grace Life
 
 

Ep 248 Desperate Prayers: Embracing the Power of Prayer in Life's Darkest Moments with Rachel Wojo

Have you ever prayed and felt like it didn’t matter that you prayed or not? Have you wondered if prayer was just a nice thing to make you feel better perhaps, but really didn’t matter in the long run?
If you’ve ever tried praying and then given up because it doesn’t feel like God is listening nor answering, today’s podcast is for you.
Speaker, author, podcaster, Rachel Wojo is with us today to talk about her latest book, Desperate Prayers: Embracing the Power of Prayer in Life's Darkest Moments.
Rachel and her husband Matt are the parents of 6 children, 2 in heaven. They've known sorrow and have traveled this journey of prayer more than most.
Rachel  is offering a free copy of her book all this week. I've read it and highly recommend!
Some gems from our conversation:
Praying has less to do with the right words, and much more to do with the posture of our heart.
Praying with surrender not only gives us a good perspective on our future, but grants us a fresh appreciation for our present, no matter how we see our prayers being answered the way we'd like them to be.
We can't see how God is working when we pray, but the more we pray, the deeper our relationship with him goes.
Do we pray to get our prayers answered "our way" or do we pray to get to know God better and deeper?
If we pray for God to show up, he often shows off in surprising and creative ways—we just need to be looking for him.
We can stiff-arm God when we turn from him rather than going to him in our desperation, keeping our souls from the peace and intimacy he so earnestly desires for us. 
 
Rachel mentioned a free prayer class you can find HERE: How To Be A Prayer Warrior For Your Family In Dark Times
Also, 10 Prayers to Calm Your Heart.

Ep 247 Trusting God When You've Hit a Brick Wall (or Your Friend Has) with Sue Donaldson

This is story of a godly woman who needed an invitation to a less-than-perfect home. She hit a brick wall. She trusted God. She didn’t like to eat alone. I trusted God alongside of her and invited her for dinner.
 
John met Katy when they were both in their teens. They married young, barely out of school. They planned their dreams and lived out their lives. It was to be a forever marriage, marked with the usual passages of home, kids, dogs, career changes, and health challenges. Then, a month before their 40th wedding anniversary, John packed up and left. After so many years of day-in and day-out living and planning and dreaming, off he went to live and plan and dream somewhere else, with someone else.
Katy hit a wall, brick as it turned out, and not of her own making.
Do you know someone who has hit a wall and it's a brick one? Maybe that someone is you.
Here’s the deal. We most often can’t change a person’s big hurt. We can’t bring the husband back or the prodigal home. Our powers of influence can’t force a boss to come to their senses or bring a child back to life. Those brick walls remain out of our control. To remember this truth is important. We are not God. It’s not my job to be someone’s Savior.
Hear Katy's story today. God may be leading you into deeper trust and that trust may lead you to invite someone over even if your home is less than perfect.
Some gems from today's story:
Brick walls come in different shapes and sizes, comprised of the all too familiar elements of broken loyalty, dissimulation, gaslighting, betrayal.
Nothing stings more than when someone you love betrays you. It’s personal. It hurts. Jesus was human as well as God. He knew this was coming. He came for this purpose—to die for our sins. But still, it hurt.
We most often can’t change a person’s big hurt. We can’t bring the husband back or the prodigal home. We are not God. It’s not my job to be someone’s Savior.
Divorce and death don’t place favorites and loneliness is its own disease.
I can't heal a broken heart. I can’t patch up what needs patching. But I can offer a plate of spaghetti carbonara and a cozy remade tablecloth-turned-heating pad and usher someone to the table where Jesus is already seated and waiting to heal and patch and give all manner of hope.
Who do you know who has hit a brick wall? They need to know they are not alone.
We’re created for relationship, with God and with one another. Not because life becomes perfect when we have both God and community.  No, it’s because most days, life isn’t perfect. And remembering we are loved and never alone is what gets us through those days.